How To Become Emotionless

You can become emotionless.

It’s not easy, but it does take some practice.

The first step is to identify your emotions. Which ones do you feel the most strongly? Anger? Happiness? Sadness? Next, identify what triggers those emotions in you. Is it a certain person, place, or thing that makes you angry? Is it something else entirely? Once you’ve identified these things, write down how they make you feel: How does anger make me feel physically? How does loneliness make me feel? What can I do to stop feeling sad when these things happen to me?

Next, after identifying the triggers for different emotions and writing down how each of them makes you feel physically, decide which ones are more important than others. For example: If someone yells at me because they’re angry at me and I don’t know why (and I never will), then I’ll probably be sad about it afterward because that person won’t explain what happened or apologize for yelling at me. However, if someone yells at me because I did something wrong—like forget their birthday—then that’s probably something that could have been avoided if I’d remembered earlier.

How To Become Emotionless

It’s a strange place to be in, isn’t it? Wanting to know how to be emotionless and cold? On one hand, we have psychopaths and narcissists at one end of the spectrum who can’t empathize or experience normal feelings. And on the other hand, we have you, on the other end of the spectrum, wanting to learn ways to feel heartless and become emotionless.

It’s possible, and we’ll show you how to be emotionless and harden your heart like a rock. But where is this pain coming from? Why would someone who is gifted with empathy, love and emotions want to throw it all away to turn into a zombie without emotions?

Why you’re hurting and why it’s okay to feel hurt

Everybody hurts. And when that happens, we feel stupid and weak, and helpless. And you’d be willing to do anything to never feel this way again.

Is it because of your lover? Is it your friends who made you feel weak and stupid? Or is it someone at work? Or life, perhaps?

You need to remember that some of us are more sensitive than others, and that’s okay. It’s a gift of empathy and feelings you need to be proud of having. Experiencing feelings deeply doesn’t make you weak. It’s what makes you a good friend, lover and an overall better human being.

Yes, the world may be more shallow and narcissistic these days, and everyone focuses more on the superficial than real feelings. But do you really want to be one of them?

[Read: How to get over feeling unwanted in life and start feeling desirable again]

You’re sensitive, and you should love yourself for it

Remember this, you’re not too sensitive if you get hurt by someone else’s actions. Calling you “sensitive” is an excuse shitty people use when they want to hurt you and expect you to just accept it.

If you want to be happy, allow yourself to feel these emotions instead of trying to learn how to be emotionless. But on the other hand, if you do think you’re really sensitive and find yourself taking offense for the smallest of reasons, here’s something you need to check out – How to stop being so sensitive all the time. It can help you understand what makes you sensitive and how you can overcome it.

People care, they just pretend they don’t!

Before you go learning how to be emotionless below, here’s an honest truth you should know. Everyone cares! Everyone is emotional!

But they just hide it really well behind a veil of nonchalance. Do you ever wonder why so many of us spend every free minute furiously scrolling through the same apps, watching Netflix or staying distracted on social media? That’s because any time left to ourselves and our own minds makes us think and feel emotions. And people don’t want to do that. Instead, they just want to distract themselves and pretend their house isn’t on fire when the world around them is burning.

You feel emotions, so it means you’re able to connect with your thoughts without being distracted by them, and that’s a good thing to feel!

[Read: Why you feel unloved and the different ways to fix it yourself]

The first step in learning how to lose your strong emotions

There are some of us who are just more sensitive than others. Being highly emotional is a difficult way to go through life. Feeling like you are on an emotional roller coaster all of the time is not only tiring, it can leave you feeling lost.

If you are someone who takes things to heart easily, don’t worry, you can learn how to be emotionless when it is called for. The key is to know when to invest the energy and when just to let it go. We’ll share the best ways you can use below. And as much as you’re using this guide to stop having emotions and grow a cold heart, always remember that having emotions is a good thing, as long as you can control it and your emotions don’t hurt others.

How to be emotionless and cold hearted

Emotions are pretty powerful things when used for the right reasons. If you have a hard time with them overpowering you, it can leave you feeling drained and in a constant state of stress. Learning to let go of things you can’t control is the best way to decipher when you should get wrapped up in something or to just walk away.

For a highly sensitive person, learning how to be emotionless takes practice and mindfulness. It is about catching yourself before you fall into the endless emotional pit. Here are some ways you can do it.

[Read: The raw psychological effects of being ignored by someone you love]

1. Cut your empathy down.

Empathy is a very important part of humanity, but being overly empathetic can leave you feeling like a weeping wound. There are things that you can feel for other people, and then there are times when you have to reserve feelings for yourself and your own situation.

You can’t possibly take the weight of the world on your shoulders, so don’t let everyone else’s misfortune weigh down on you so heavily. [Read: 20 signs you’re a people pleaser and just don’t know it]

2. Stop being everyone’s counselor.

When you are an emotional person, you have a tendency to put more thought and concern into other people. That can leave you feeling like a counselor to everyone you know. Because you are a good listener and care deeply for others, it can feel like all of your emotional energy is being spent helping out your friends and family members.

If you want to know how to be emotionless, sometimes, you just have to not answer the phone or not be the one who drops everything to help someone through their emotional crisis. Likely, you have enough on your own emotional plate. [Read: 16 signs you’re being taken for granted by the ones you love]

3. Stop internalizing.

When someone is in a bad mood or does something to you, emotional people have a tendency to take it on themselves or to internalize it. That can leave you with a whole lot of unresolved feelings, continual guilt, and doubt about who you are.

If someone is being crappy, rude, or downright nasty *and you haven’t done anything*, release them with love. You can’t be responsible for other people’s feelings or rude behavior. If you haven’t done anything wrong to them, then that is on them.

4. Avoid socially stressful situations.

If you are a social-phobe, don’t stick yourself into situations that are going to provoke high stress. Being emotional makes it more difficult to be in tense or stressful social situations.

If you know that going to a family wedding is going to let out your emotional monsters, then skip it. You don’t have to do things that aren’t good for you. [Read: Too empathetic? How to detach yourself and have a better life]

5. Put yourself first.

For some people, hearing someone else’s emotional turmoil is cathartic. To those who are full of emotion, it can be like an endless roller coaster. If you are the person who puts everyone and their emotional needs above you, then it is time to make an oath to put yourself first.

People who are highly emotional have a hard time investing in their own well-being. You don’t have to be super human or put others before you. When you want to know how to be emotionless, you have to put your own needs above others’ in your life.

If you are knee-deep in something, stop bringing in more shovels to put you under. Figure out your own shit before you worry about other people. [Read: How self respect affects you and all your relationships with others]

6. Try to listen without feelings.

Emotional people have a tendency to insert themselves into a situation and navigate it imaginarily through emotions to check out all angles. If you have a problem, step back, and out, to see what is going on rationally, instead of trying to figure out the emotions of it.

Seeing a problem is much easier when you take all the feeling out of the scenario. It also saves you a whole lot of wasted emotional energy.

7. Break up with drama.

If you have someone in your life who is continually putting you over the emotional edge, then that may be more toxins than you need in life. Some people like to be the martyr and create drama to get attention.

They often turn to people in their lives who care, and that is likely you. If you have someone who always seems to be in crisis mode, stop letting them use your emotional energy to get their fill.

It is okay to cut someone loose if they are demanding too much of your energy. They will find someone else to listen to their woes and problems, and you won’t find yourself being sucked in.

Drama queens want all the drama, but they never want to take steps to change their situation. They just use your emotional energy to fulfill their needs and then walk home happy as a clam, leaving you in their wake until they need their fill again. Ditch ‘em! [Read: 17 types of bad friends you need to unfriend from your life]

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