How To Become Cold Hearted And Emotionless
Becoming cold-hearted and emotionless is a skill that can be learned. It may seem like it’s impossible to turn off your feelings, but with practice, you’ll be able to make it happen.
Here are some steps you can take:
- Write down all the things you want to feel less strongly about. For example, if you want to stop feeling guilty about eating too many sweets in front of others, write down all the things that make you feel guilty about eating too many sweets in front of others. This will help you to identify what exactly is making you feel so strongly about this issue.
- When something makes you feel a certain way (guilty), write down what caused it: “I ate too many sweets in front of my friends.” This helps you to see where your emotions are coming from so that they can be controlled better later on.
- Think about whether or not eating sweets in front of friends is really an important thing for you do; maybe they would understand! If so, then there’s no reason why they should matter so much when it comes to eating more sweets than usual!
How To Become Cold Hearted And Emotionless
It’s a strange place to be in, isn’t it? Wanting to know how to be emotionless and cold? On one hand, we have psychopaths and narcissists at one end of the spectrum who can’t empathize or experience normal feelings. And on the other hand, we have you, on the other end of the spectrum, wanting to learn ways to feel heartless and become emotionless.
It’s possible, and we’ll show you how to be emotionless and harden your heart like a rock. But where is this pain coming from? Why would someone who is gifted with empathy, love and emotions want to throw it all away to turn into a zombie without emotions?
Why you’re hurting and why it’s okay to feel hurt
Everybody hurts. And when that happens, we feel stupid and weak, and helpless. And you’d be willing to do anything to never feel this way again.
Is it because of your lover? Is it your friends who made you feel weak and stupid? Or is it someone at work? Or life, perhaps?
You need to remember that some of us are more sensitive than others, and that’s okay. It’s a gift of empathy and feelings you need to be proud of having. Experiencing feelings deeply doesn’t make you weak. It’s what makes you a good friend, lover and an overall better human being.
Yes, the world may be more shallow and narcissistic these days, and everyone focuses more on the superficial than real feelings. But do you really want to be one of them?
[Read: How to get over feeling unwanted in life and start feeling desirable again]
You’re sensitive, and you should love yourself for it
Remember this, you’re not too sensitive if you get hurt by someone else’s actions. Calling you “sensitive” is an excuse shitty people use when they want to hurt you and expect you to just accept it.
If you want to be happy, allow yourself to feel these emotions instead of trying to learn how to be emotionless. But on the other hand, if you do think you’re really sensitive and find yourself taking offense for the smallest of reasons, here’s something you need to check out – How to stop being so sensitive all the time. It can help you understand what makes you sensitive and how you can overcome it.
People care, they just pretend they don’t!
Before you go learning how to be emotionless below, here’s an honest truth you should know. Everyone cares! Everyone is emotional!
But they just hide it really well behind a veil of nonchalance. Do you ever wonder why so many of us spend every free minute furiously scrolling through the same apps, watching Netflix or staying distracted on social media? That’s because any time left to ourselves and our own minds makes us think and feel emotions. And people don’t want to do that. Instead, they just want to distract themselves and pretend their house isn’t on fire when the world around them is burning.
You feel emotions, so it means you’re able to connect with your thoughts without being distracted by them, and that’s a good thing to feel!
[Read: Why you feel unloved and the different ways to fix it yourself]
The first step in learning how to lose your strong emotions
There are some of us who are just more sensitive than others. Being highly emotional is a difficult way to go through life. Feeling like you are on an emotional roller coaster all of the time is not only tiring, it can leave you feeling lost.
If you are someone who takes things to heart easily, don’t worry, you can learn how to be emotionless when it is called for. The key is to know when to invest the energy and when just to let it go. We’ll share the best ways you can use below. And as much as you’re using this guide to stop having emotions and grow a cold heart, always remember that having emotions is a good thing, as long as you can control it and your emotions don’t hurt others.
How to be emotionless and cold hearted
Emotions are pretty powerful things when used for the right reasons. If you have a hard time with them overpowering you, it can leave you feeling drained and in a constant state of stress. Learning to let go of things you can’t control is the best way to decipher when you should get wrapped up in something or to just walk away.
For a highly sensitive person, learning how to be emotionless takes practice and mindfulness. It is about catching yourself before you fall into the endless emotional pit. Here are some ways you can do it.
[Read: The raw psychological effects of being ignored by someone you love]
1. Cut your empathy down.
Empathy is a very important part of humanity, but being overly empathetic can leave you feeling like a weeping wound. There are things that you can feel for other people, and then there are times when you have to reserve feelings for yourself and your own situation.
You can’t possibly take the weight of the world on your shoulders, so don’t let everyone else’s misfortune weigh down on you so heavily. [Read: 20 signs you’re a people pleaser and just don’t know it]
2. Stop being everyone’s counselor.
When you are an emotional person, you have a tendency to put more thought and concern into other people. That can leave you feeling like a counselor to everyone you know. Because you are a good listener and care deeply for others, it can feel like all of your emotional energy is being spent helping out your friends and family members.
If you want to know how to be emotionless, sometimes, you just have to not answer the phone or not be the one who drops everything to help someone through their emotional crisis. Likely, you have enough on your own emotional plate. [Read: 16 signs you’re being taken for granted by the ones you love]
3. Stop internalizing.
When someone is in a bad mood or does something to you, emotional people have a tendency to take it on themselves or to internalize it. That can leave you with a whole lot of unresolved feelings, continual guilt, and doubt about who you are.
If someone is being crappy, rude, or downright nasty *and you haven’t done anything*, release them with love. You can’t be responsible for other people’s feelings or rude behavior. If you haven’t done anything wrong to them, then that is on them.
4. Avoid socially stressful situations.
If you are a social-phobe, don’t stick yourself into situations that are going to provoke high stress. Being emotional makes it more difficult to be in tense or stressful social situations.
If you know that going to a family wedding is going to let out your emotional monsters, then skip it. You don’t have to do things that aren’t good for you. [Read: Too empathetic? How to detach yourself and have a better life]
5. Put yourself first.
For some people, hearing someone else’s emotional turmoil is cathartic. To those who are full of emotion, it can be like an endless roller coaster. If you are the person who puts everyone and their emotional needs above you, then it is time to make an oath to put yourself first.
People who are highly emotional have a hard time investing in their own well-being. You don’t have to be super human or put others before you. When you want to know how to be emotionless, you have to put your own needs above others’ in your life.
If you are knee-deep in something, stop bringing in more shovels to put you under. Figure out your own shit before you worry about other people. [Read: How self respect affects you and all your relationships with others]
6. Try to listen without feelings.
Emotional people have a tendency to insert themselves into a situation and navigate it imaginarily through emotions to check out all angles. If you have a problem, step back, and out, to see what is going on rationally, instead of trying to figure out the emotions of it.
