how to become a celebrity

I have this theory that part of why we love terrible reality TV shows that feature young, beautiful, and often stupid people is because deep down we get to feel like them – tan, gorgeous, rich – if only for half an hour.

So, how can we manifest this temporary, responsibility-free attitude without actually running our lives into the ground?

1. Wear something that is not traditionally worn as “outside of the house” clothing.

Here’s the thing no one tells you about fashion… 80 percent of it is wearing something outrageous and just saying, “This? Oh, this is fashion,” and the other 20 percent is making sure that whatever it is, it was outrageously expensive for no reason.

Think bras as T-shirts, belts as bras, shoes made out of a synthetic, see-through, sweaty material… these are ALL things that favorites of yours like Gigi HadidKylie Jenner, or Kanye West have sported or promoted.

2. Eat or drink a LOT of one thing.

The name of the game when it comes to the celebrity lifestyle is excess. The more, more, more, you can get of any one thing, the better.

Pick your poison.

What’s your guilty pleasure? Coffee? Go crazy. Bubble gum? Chew that sh*t until your teeth fall out. Hotdogs? Kale? The tiny mints you get on the way out of restaurants? Stock up and then document it.

As long as you make a face that says, “YO, YOU WILL NEVER HAVE THIS MANY CHEETOS IN YOUR LIFE! I’M AWESOME!” in the selfie, then the calories can’t hurt you.

And while I’m on photos…

3. Take an exorbitant amount of photos.

Pics or it literally didn’t happen. If you want to feel like a celebrity, you have to think like a celebrity, and that means adapting the belief that the whole world is here to look at YOU.

Find your best light in your apartment and go nuts. Take a mysterious selfie, a sexy selfie, a moody selfie, a happy selfie, a “candid” selfie, or stock pile your friends and take pics like you’re the coolest kids in town.

Make a massive Instagram story and revel in being the center of your own universe.

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