There are many ways to become a better listener. Learning that the understanding of listening is about more than hearing is just one of them. The ability to listen does not magically appear at some point in life. It is something that needs to be developed just like any other skill. Below we look at some ways to develop this valuable communication skill
how to become a better listener
Remove Every Form of Distraction
Just before having a conversation with someone or several people, try and remove or avoid every form of distraction. This is especially if it is a conference or meeting or somewhere official (it would be highly unprofessional if your phone rings out while a meeting is going on).
Therefore phones and laptops etc should be either turned off completely or muted so that you will not hear messages coming in. If you had something doing before and someone wants to talk to you, you can ask the person to wait behind. Alternatively, you can stop what you are doing altogether.
As much as being dexterous is all nice and fine, it is actually not permissible when and if you wish to truly listen to someone. Even the way you stare is part of the listening process. Eye contact goes a long way to show if you are listening or not. When someone is talking to you and you are not making eye contact with them or you make fleeting eye contacts, it only tells them that you are not paying attention.
There may be times when listening in a crowded place becomes impossible. In that case, try and move to a quiet place so you can give the person full attention.
Listen And Focus
If you are going to listen to someone, then just listen. Do not listen and then press your phone, or talk and interrupt. Do not start giving the person solutions already even if it is in their best interests. This may be difficult but you have to will yourself to.
Another thing you should never do is to cut someone short just because you already know the end of the story. Just be quiet and let the person finish before you start talking.
Be Plain And Honest
Being plain and honest is very important while listening. If for any reason you are in a rush or tired or just not mentally disposed to listen (listening is a mental activity), please let the other person know.
There comes a time when your mind reaches its full capacity and cannot just take anything else in. At this time, your mind begins to wander off on its own. What do you do? Let the other person know you probably need to take a break. You could just go out-sort of take a short walk, eat something, get a drink etc. You need that distraction in order to have renewed interest when the conversation resumes.
It is always better to have such breaks than to pretend to be paying attention when in all honesty you are not.
Reflect Their Emotions
The whole aim of listening is to give feedback on what the other person has said. You listened so that you can make your own contribution(s) after they are done talking.
Reflecting the other person’s mood is a great technique in effective listening. Try to show the other person that you were actually listening by matching their one of voice, speech mannerism, body language and gestures.
All these shows empathy and proves to the person that you were not just listening but understanding their true intentions.
It also builds a rapport between the both of you because it is like you are both on the same page. To create a stronger bond, you can reflect what the other person has just said. This particularly becomes very important in volatile situations/people and or people you are very close to.
Silence Is Golden
You ever heard that saying right? Nothing could be truer. Sometimes the best way to truly listen is to allow silence reign in the conversation. Sometimes, when someone is talking and you think they are done, they are actually not. It is possible they are taking time to gather their thoughts so if you start talking in that situation, they may withhold some information they wanted to pass across.
However if you were silent, it will invite the other person to open up more. This may be very uncomfortable but be sure to utilize its power. You cannot possibly go wrong.
